Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad just said "fuck circus"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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