Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you didnt know i had herpes?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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