Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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