i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
