So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
