This is not my ceiling
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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