I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i dont even know how to be here
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
