i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
