i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
well you can't waste a boner
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
