I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
