idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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