she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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