she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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