Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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