I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
