I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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