Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
