I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
