did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
