OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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