just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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