her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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