definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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