well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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