her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
