So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
