I must be too annoying 4 u.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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