Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
