Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
