I wanna passion pit in your ass
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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