It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
