white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
tell me about the fingering
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