I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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