Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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