I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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