I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize