Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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