But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
