Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
