Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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