she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize