moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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