Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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