just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize