benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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