My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
