you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
