the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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