i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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