Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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