You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
