i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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