She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
