How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize