i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
