so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Enjoy the penises
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
