You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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