Do you still have your period?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
