Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
