He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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