I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
