hotel room ftw
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
